Are your relationships "safe"? Here's how to evaluate...
We all want to feel “safe”. To be understood and heard. To speak freely and openly about our thoughts, feelings and experiences.
We are all born with the innate need for relationships. To be part of a community with others where we can be ourselves and feel connected. Where we can get into trouble is when we let people into our lives and start making compromises to our needs or values in order to get our basic need for relationship(s) met.
Let’s face it, we all have our own inner demons and no one is perfect. But a safe person will allow you and them to be vulnerable and authentic enough with your feelings and experiences. And what it all comes down to is the capacity for emotional empathy.
The #1 key to a safe relationship = emotional empathy
Emotional empathy is not cognitive empathy. This distinction is key. Most people can cognitively be empathetic to understand your perspective through the lens of intellect or social cues. It’s only when another can join you in your story and give you what you need in that moment is when intimacy can be built and maintained.
Evaluating people based on their capacity for emotional empathy will help to navigate how intimate you should be with an individual so your time and energy is spent with the right people in the right ways. Where we all can get into trouble is when we’re giving to those who are unable to give to us in the same way.
Safety takes healthy relating. A space for you, a space for me, and space for nurturing our relationship.
The best way to evaluate relationships the Relationship Sphere. Many psychologists use a similar approach in the ‘relationship bubble’.
The #1 way to evaluate relationships = Relationship Sphere
We’re all somewhere in our journey of personal growth. People will move in and out of your sphere based on your experiences with them and your overall needs. It’s ok to let go of a relationship that is no longer serving your highest and best self.
We can’t control others; we can only control ourselves. When we love ourselves enough to listen to our heart, mind, body, soul, we can protect ourselves. No one is perfect, but only those who can truly see you deserve to be at the very center.
Love yourself unconditionally. Talk to yourself compassionately. You got this!
Much <3, Jess
See Part 2 Here: Evaluating Safe Relationships